I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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