I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
BRING THE BAGELS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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