you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
