Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
