I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Randomize
