Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion

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(954): View more from Florida

my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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(848): View more from New Jersey

it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away

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(630): View more from Illinois

just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.

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(970): View more from Colorado

She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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(323): View more from California

well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He's like a hurricane

(303): View more from Colorado

a drunk, sexist, hurricane

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Cover your peen. We're going out.

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