My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
