I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It was confusing and full of hummus
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
