At least make sure they are 18
Why
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
