Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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