let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
