my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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