the condom got lost in my hair
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We're too hungover to prance.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
