I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
