Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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