I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
