? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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