Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
