do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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