I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
