I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
