oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
