I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
