i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
