I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
