I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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