is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
