we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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