C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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