i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
