I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this just has baby written all over it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
