last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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