For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
