All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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