I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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