fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dick very happy bro
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
