gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
