Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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