I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
