You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
