We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
