dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ttyl tear gas
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
this is an emotional support booty call
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
