Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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