i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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