our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am one with the molecules
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
