i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
