Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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