I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
