Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize
