I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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