Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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