the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
