i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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