Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
