i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
