i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
