I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
