I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
