I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Buhtt sex?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
