I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
