I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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