no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
